we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
