You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
