i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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