Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
They are going to name an STD after you.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
