college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
