hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
