She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Also, beer. Big fan.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
