She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
