I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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