Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I cut my penus on the lid.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Bring me that man meat
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
