I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
