Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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