My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
