Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
