WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
