nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Sponge bath it is.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
