I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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