so that wasnt chicken after all
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
