If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
