wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
