apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
