dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
