Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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