p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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