I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I need moral support for this bender
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
