did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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