i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
