playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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