So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
