similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
