The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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