why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
