He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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