'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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