Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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