worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
