you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
