you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
