no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
