A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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