I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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