Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
