hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
i need some magic done to my vagina
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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