Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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