true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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