My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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