Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
