But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It all started with a game of naked twister.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
