i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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