what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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