Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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