I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
